Ego Diarrhea

2 months ago

“Some of my favorite toddlers…”

There is so much wrong with that statement I recently saw an acquaintance post, but it all starts with the letter “s”. No rational, self-respecting person has favorite toddlers (as in more than one). Sure, you might have your own or a relative you’re fond of. Maybe even that cute 3-year-old next door. But no sane person would ever want to put multiple toddlers in one place, then choose to assign rank order preference to them. Unless of course it’s a rhetorical exercise and said person is not actually in the presence of multiple toddlers. In which case this person is smart enough to enjoy their cuteness but stay away from their actual behavior. That, my friend, is a wise person I want to know!

11 months ago

Spanish filter

Twitter needs a filter for Spanish. ‘Cause it would be a lot easier to filter out that yiddish that fills the trending topics than for me to learn the language.

12 months ago

A big F-U to mobile carriers' text messaging!

Thank you, Apple, for iMessage. Now I can send text and media messages using my current data plan without needing a text message plan!

I loathe the idea that I should pay for text messaging on mobile phones. The fact is a text message is just data. In fact it’s just 160 bytes of data. Do the math for your text messaging plan, and you’ll find you’re paying up to $1300 per megabyte! For home internet, most people get at least 50 GB if they have a cap. That’s roughly 50,000 times more data for about 1/20 the cost—or about a million times difference in cost. Hell, it’s even vastly cheaper to get data from the Humble telescope than from your text messaging plan.

So Fuck You to AT&T, Sprint, Verizon, T-Mobile and all the other carriers. You deserve it you money-hoarding-pieces-of-data-sending shit.

12 months ago

Pet Peeve of the Day: portrait-oriented videos

Damn it, people! Turn your frickin’ phone on its side when you take videos! I’m not messing around here. If one of you dip shits takes another vertical video cause you’re too lazy or ignorant to turn the damn phone sideways, I’m gonna go postal! Cut it out!

1 year ago

Apparently kids are only important for a few days

Facebook trends are like the weather in the Midwest. Some people like it, others hate it, most think its better somewhere else but everyone still stays…. And of course it changes in a moment’s notice.

Take the recent post a cartoon as your profile picture trend that supposedly was in support of anti-violence against kids. I never saw anyone ask for money or to do anything, so I’m really not sure how a cartoon helped anyone. As a blind sheep I could have followed the trend, but I’m not blind—the sheep part is up for debate—and I somehow had no fear that people were going to assume that I was an advocate for violence against children. That logic would have made as much sense as me changing my profile picture to help stop it.

Fast forward 2 days and everyone’s profile picture seems to be back to something non-cartoony. So what happened to the kids? Do we not care any more. Did you find a picture that was brighter and shinier than the cartoon you copy and pasted?

With as much logic as the trend started, it ended. If it ever had a larger purpose, I missed it, and they need to hire the Movember PR guy. At least you know that someone’s raising money for cause with all that ugly facial hair.

1 year ago

Bad decision

I’ve got a friend that got married and decided she needed to take his last name. Bad decision! When the person you marry has a last name that simply sounds bad and is offensive if heard out of context, you skip it! I don’t care how traditional you think you are, you need to step up to the 21st century and take a pass on that last name.

… if only because I can’t stand seeing it every time you post in Facebook. Yes, vagina-name, I’m talking about you.

2 years ago

Must actually get work done so I can go outside and enjoy the warm weather!

2 years ago from bookmarklet

Huge Chunk Of Nation You'd Never Want To Meet Excited For Daytona 500 | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Sometimes stuff’s funny simply because it’s true.

2 years ago

Tech that's awesome - tiny, nearly perpetual self-powered processor

2 years ago

What teachers make, Taylor Mali

You just have to watch to learn what teachers make.